I had restarted this blog with the best of intentions to actually get into a regular update schedule, but life had other plans. It’s a long and boring story so here are the bullet points:
- Started Camp NaNo
- A family member went into the hospital
- Did not finish Camp NaNo project on time
- Husband had a birthday
- I had a birthday
- Husband went away on a business trip
- My anxiety and insomnia have not been kind to me
- Caught some sort of flu while visiting at the hospital, 0/10 would not recommend
- Husband came home from his business trip
- Got a PlayStation 4 as a joint birthday gift and have been wondering the wasteland of Fallout 4.
And that should about cover it. I mean there was also work in there too. But since I deal with transcription there’s nothing to blog about.
For those just tuning in, I deal with depression and anxiety. It sucks. I had sort of a set back recently so it’s been hard to focus on much. I’m literally laughing one second and crying the next. I’ve had to up my water intake to make sure I don’t get dehydrated.
At the beginning of the month, I committed to writing at least 750 words a day for at least this month. I was hoping it would help me get out of this rut and would give a chance to try out a few of my ideas on a smaller scale to see which need tweaking and which might give me the spark of creativity I’m missing right now.
Depression has sort of stolen that from me it seems. I’m finding it difficult to write more than 300 words without feeling like I’ve got nothing to add and want to scrap it. I keep pushing but I’m guessing half of what’s written will end up deleted.
My head is not a fun place to be right now. I know I’m not alone in having to deal with these issues, but I still feel in my depression. This is not to say I don’t have people to talk to. I have a great support system, but sometimes you start to feel like a burden or a bummer.
Which is why I’ve been avoiding blogging and people in general. But the more I didn’t write the more I knew I would avoid it and then what was the point of restarting? I’ll feel better eventually and then just end up in the same place. So why not just come out and say it.
Hell, maybe it will help break the shell a little.